We Heart Jesus

My name is Matt.
And my name is Adam.
This is what we talk about.
Mar 26
Permalink

This Is Not Racist

  • Matt: You know I had an idea for an article, but with the new filter on CH i don't think i'll be able to do it.
  • Matt: "A conversation between Niger and Nigeria".
  • Adam: hahaha
  • Adam: What a niggardly concept.
  • Adam: And yes I realize i just used an adverb as an adjective.
  • Matt: Yes that was downright niggardly of you.
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Mar 09
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A taste of how we think

  • Matt: We need to start documenting these conversations because I think we may be striking on some comedy gold here. We should get together and be a comedy team. We could be the next Abbott and Costello, or Laurel and Hardy, or Penn and Teller or Captain and Tenille...
  • Adam: ...or Seigfried and Roy... haha gaaaaaaaaay.
  • Matt: so that's a no-go on the white tiger then? Damn, what am I gonna do with it now?
  • Adam: Give it to Goodwill...
  • Matt: No I can't do that to those poor retards that work there... I've got something worse in store for them.
  • Adam: Haha fat chick underwear. Wash and sort these, motherfucker.
  • Matt: You don't have to clean them before you donate, right?
  • Adam: Pretty much they do the wall test. If it doesn't stick to the wall when you throw it, it's good to go .
  • Matt: That's how I dress in the morning, except I do it the opposite way. If it sticks, it's good... my wall is made of carpet... I own a lot of velcro clothes.
  • Adam: My wall is made of anti-matter so i can't do the wall test or the clothes and the wall both disappear.
  • Matt: That means you would never have to do laundry! But you would have to buy new clothes every few days, or just go naked...
  • Adam: That's why I'm moving to California, so i can just go naked.
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Mar 08
Permalink
This picture is to give our blog some color.  Looks pretty, doesn’t it?
This picture is to give our blog some color.  Looks pretty, doesn’t it?
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“ haha we’re probably gonna get shut down
— Matt, the pessimist
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Signing Up For The Onion Takes Too Much Time, Part I

Local Boy Chooses Own Adventure, Is Eaten By Dragon

Rush Limbaugh Once Again Rejected By Cute Krispy Kreme Employee

Local Man Takes Herbal Supplements, Doesn’t Feel Any Different

Jesus Comeback Delayed Until Jesus Can Figure Out How To Top Led Zeppelin Comeback

Global Warming Neutralized By Giant Air Conditioner

Local Youth Basketball League Adopts Controversial ‘No Dogs’ Rule

“You think you can run this country better than me, boy?” McCain Confronts Obama

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________ Is The New __________

Gay is the new Black

Black is the new Woman

Blind is the new Deaf

New is the new Old

Public Masturbating is the new Gay

Old is the old New

New is the old Old

Is is the new Isn’t

The is the new A

Is isn’t the isn’t Is

Manhattan is the New York

Texas is the New Mexico

New Mexico is the new New Jersey

Straight is the new White

New Hampshire is the new Hampshire

American Imperialism is the New World Order

Newer is the new New

Newest isn’t the newer yet 

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Protest Signs Seen If The Westboro Baptist Church Starts Hating Jews

HAM IS FUCKING DELICIOUS.  HERE, TRY SOME

FORESKIN = AWESOME

NICE HAT…FAG

JESUS DOESN’T LOVE YOU AS MUCH

JUDAISM: THE NICKELBACK OF RELIGIONS

ARIEL IS IN A COMA FOR A REASON

JEWS: HAVE YOU EVER WON A WAR?

MUNICH WAS JUST ARTISTIC LICENSE

PALESTINIANS GOT JEWED 

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Protest Signs Seen If The Westboro Baptist Church Gets A Lighter Side

GOD LOVES FAG-HATING

SATAN LOVES FAGS

WHAT’S WITH THE LISP, QUEERBAIT?

BUTTHOLES ARE FOR POOPIN’

DICKS DON’T FIT WHERE YA SIT

HAMSTER = NO, THERMOMETER = YES 

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